The Office: Funny Quotes – A Look Back After The Series Finale

The Office wrapped up its ninth and final season last night with a one-hour long special featuring show highlights and comments from the creator Greg Daniels, writers including BJ Novak, and actors including Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, Ed Helms and Rainn Wilson. The series that brought to life the “World’s Favorite Boss” and the rest of the Dunder Mifflin team launched the popularity of the mockumentary TV format in America and added to the genius behind this timeless comedy. The series may have come to its end, but it has generated some of TV’s most memorable quotes that will live on and has inspired the ultimate Office quote shirt ($29.99).

The Office Quotes T-Shirt

“DID I STUTTER?” -In season four, Stanley is not interested in contributing to the office-wide brainstorming session.

“That’s what she said.” -Nobody delivers this line as well as Steve Carrel as Michael Scott.

“I’m not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious.” -In season four, Michael is only a little “stitious” in regards to the “curse” that caused him to hit Meredith with his car. Wow.

“Catch you on the flippity flip!” -Last uttered by Michael Scott in the farewell episode, check out these two moments (the second video’s quality isn’t wonderful).

“Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.” -In season three, Jim imitates Dwight.

“Go back to the annex.” -In season five, Michael clearly feels Toby is not contributing much to the printer verus copier debate.

“Hi, I’m Date Mike, nice to meet me.” -In season six, Michael becomes his alter ego, “Mike”, when he learns Pam invites her friend to meet him.

And the list goes on! My favorite moments and quotes are delivered by Mr. Michael Scott, but Jim’s are-seeing-what-I’m-seeing looks glances at the camera get me every time. Find more Office quotes, including quotes from The Office series finale, on sites like The Office Quotes or TV Fanatic. The Office Shop at the NBCUniversal store has quote mugs, Dwight bobbleheads and must-have The Office memorabilia.

Mothers Day: TV Moms to make us appreciate our own

When you’re a kid you think that moms can do anything. We sometimes think they’re super heroes, or perfect. Got a boo boo? Mom can fix that! As you get older you start to realize Mom’s super powers aren’t always the greatest, like how she can spot that new piercing from across the house despite her eyesight deteriorating or hear you whispering secrets behind closed doors even when her ears aren’t what they used to be.

Still as we grow and get that teen angst out of our systems we find the place in our hearts where moms will always be. Even though she’s made new art forms out of nagging and she won’t hesitate to guilt when the time’s right, she’s the first person we think of when something goes horribly wrong and the one person you can always count on to be overwhelmingly happy for you when it all goes just right.

It can sometimes take a few signs before we see how much our moms have done for us, which is why we’d like to take a moment and thank some of the most horrific or unimaginable fictional moms on television for their unmotherly and sometimes even hateful antics that make our moms look like the angels they claim to be.

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Nancy Botwin – played by Mary-Louise Parker
There’s something almost admirable in all her dirty dealings when this suburban house mom first starts out on Showtime’s hit series Weeds. Yes she’s taken to illegally selling marijuana, a small enough offense to get sucked into the shows drama and comedy. Especially since she does it out of caring for her sons and her supposed inability to provide for her family in any other way. While this premise may be bad enough for some to discount her as a bad mother, it’s nothing compared to what comes in the later seasons. As she gets more entrenched in the world of selling drugs her mothering skills quickly evaporate. From having to get her youngest child out of jail to trading Silas for more weed, her mothering made us darned grateful for the moms we have.

Jane Forrest – played by Ellen Barkin
While a little bit of guilt and judgement come along with the title of Mother, Jane Forrest takes those descriptors to terrifying heights. Though technically Goldie’s grandmother, she’s every bit the overbearing mother we don’t want. Of course her history of a cheating and secretly gay husband give us a little sympathy when it comes to her serious level of offensiveness, but most of the time it’s almost unbearable. Whether she’s outbitching some gays, making racially insensitive comments, or just completely butting into Goldie’s life and questioning her decisions it makes our own Mother’s and Grandmothers’ behavior seemed toned down.

Cersei Lannister – played by Lena Headey
If you’re not already on the phone trying to give your mother a call to thank her for being the lovely woman she is and for not being totally overbearing and/or a drug dealer, then we’re hoping this will do the trick. While not the easiest thing to address, the number one factor that puts Cersei at the top of bad mothering is that her children’s father is also their uncle. Of course you can argue the times, the fact that incest was common among royals, and her attempts to find power as a woman in a male dominated culture. But no, just no. Beyond that, we see her attempts to use Joffrey as a tool in her slowly hatching and half-arsed plan to gain more power. Instead of putting her on top, her bad mothering has encouraged him to become a horrendous beast that everyone in and out of Westeros would love to slap and once his toosh touches the Iron Thrones he feels righteous in turning his beastliness towards her. She does end up paying for her poor parenting, but she can only blame herself.

These mothers, while most likely damaging their offspring beyond repair, have helped us all in realizing that even with quirks and complications, we’ve each got a mother who’s done a pretty fine job.

Show your mother how appreciative you are with some of these gifts. Part of being a mom is having to think of others first all the time. Give your mom permission to think of only herself for a day with these gifts to spoil.

 MothersDay

NCIS Bert the Farting Hippo Slippers – Slippers are relaxing on their own, but add in the silly element of Bert the Farting Hippo from NCIS and she can’t help but relax. ($29.97 on ShopTheShows.com)

Dance Moms Candle - Speaking of bad moms, get the Dance Moms Candle and show her she’s the best for not pushing you too hard. The soft lavender scent helps her relax so she doesn’t push herself too hard, either. ($19.95)

New Girl Jess’s Eiffel Tower Pajamas - It’s easy to feel young and quirky in these pajamas worn by the New Girl’s Jess. The super cozy PJs encourage the sweetest dreams of Paris with their Eiffel Tower print. ($139.95)

The Big Bang Theory Singing Soft Kitty Plush Stuffed Animal - Of course mom bought you the stuffed animals when you were young, but there’s nothing like cuddling with a Soft Kitty Plush to make her feel relaxed and young again. ($24.97)

Game of Thones Medium Tree of Life Leather Lock Journal - There’s no better gift for the woman who gave you life than this Tree of Life Journal. The detailed leather journal is the perfect and secure place for her to jot down her thoughts after a particularly stressful day. ($58.95)

What else makes you want to show your mom how much you appreciate her?

Star Trek Into Darkness May 17th Premiere: 5 Tips to Chekov Your List

Red Alert!  With the Star Trek Into Darkness May 17th premiere rapidly approaching, it’s time once again to dust off your communicator badge, energize, and get ready to be transported into your favorite universe.  You may not have your own personal Holodeck to imagine yourself as part of the action, but with the right preparation you can still get lost in the Trill of the moment.

Here’s a highly logical guide to help you complete your mission:

Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. Get a Q’apla friends together and host a Star Trek viewing party! Relax in your Star Trek PJs ($49.95) and impress your guests with the Trek-themed kitchenware like the Enterprise pizza cutter ($23.99), Star Trek quote pint glasses ($34.95), and bottle opener ($18.00).
  2. Clench a deal even a Ferengi could approve of. Check out the Esurance Facebook page for your chance to win one of the 30,000 FREE movie tickets they’re giving away until May 19th for Star Trek Into Darkness.
  3. Make survival your prime directive. Hopefully you won’t find yourself trying to diffuse a volcano like Spock, but it case you happen to be on the brink of planetary destruction it’s good to be prepared.  The Mustang Neoprene Immersion Suit ($365.00) will help you withstand the fearsome power of most natural forces on Earth.
  4. Impress your friends at trivia and make first contact with Star Trek knowledge!  Bring yourself up to warp speed by checking out the Memory Alpha Wikia page which is the go-to site for the most in-depth, collaborative Star Trek knowledge from Trekkies and Trekkers all over the world.
  5. There’s no Vulcan way you won’t look the part when you transport a Star Trek Into Darkness Tunics by ANOVOS ($85-$225) into your collection. ANOVOS offers the highest quality licensed Star Trek costumes (Captain Kirk uniform & Commander Spock uniform pictured above) and feature premium fabrics in order to replicate the uniforms seen in the movie. These incredible replica tunics will be the centerpiece of any Trekker’s collection.

Craving more Into Darkness movie gear? Indulge, because these products are only available at the official Star Trek online store and they won’t be around forever!

Star Trek Into Darkness Merchandise

  1. Open hailing frequencies for fashion with the ultra exclusive Star Trek Commemorative Starfleet Symbol Pendant ($38.00), stamped with “May 2013” in anticipation of the latest movie installment.  You’ll shine like the brightest star in the Galactic Quadrant while showing off your Trek pride in style.
  2. Beam up an exclusive Into Darkness movie poster ($14.95). With more becoming available as the premiere approaches, you’ll have a fleet of options for decorating your personal captain’s quarters. Featuring still shots from the movie, you won’t have to become a member of the Q to immortalize your favorite movie moments.
  3. Suit up for the movie in style with one of these Star Trek Into Darkness t-shirts. The t-shirts feature the official movie poster image, Chris Pine as Captain Kirk, or Benedict Cumberbatch as John Harrison ($24.95 each). With the world on the edge of destruction, which side will you choose? Show your pride by wearing yours to the premiere.

7 things to know about boxing before “May Day”, Mayweather vs Guerrero

Professional boxing is one of America’s most popular sports, but if you are like me, somehow you have not been exposed to this multimillion dollar industry – until now. Yes, I recall the hype that was Manny Pacquiao last year, but the recent announcement of Floyd Mayweather’s six-fight deal with the Showtime network will bring us “May Day”.

The professional boxing world’s “May Day” is this Saturday, May 4th at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas, where Robert “The Ghost” Guerrero will take on the controversial and current WBC welterweight and super welterweight champion Floyd “Money” Mayweather.  If you’ve walked past a sports bar or visited Las Vegas recently, it’s clear that Saturday’s boxing event is one for the history books.  For those who are new to this fascinating industry, I’ve sat down with some boxing fanatics to bring you seven things to know about the fighters – and boxing in general – before you catch Saturday’s big event.

  1. Legendary fighters you may have heard of also come from professional boxing: Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Sugar Ray Leonard and Mike Tyson.
  2. Boxing is banned in several countries including Norway, Iceland, and Iran. Cuba ended its 52 year ban this April.
  3. Boxers are placed into weight classes to ensure they fight opponents of the same size. Mayweather has fought in several weight divisions including super featherweight, lightweight, light welterweight, welterweight, and light middleweight.
  4. Professional boxers are not salaried, but instead paid by fight. Mayweather will be making an estimated $200 million over the course of his six fight agreement with Showtime, and he hand picks all of his opponents. ESPN discusses the fighters’ final news conference before the match and explains how Mayweather even decides the contract details including how much his opponents are paid.
  5. Guerrero is 30 years old, 6 years younger than Mayweather, and has been professionally boxing since 2001.
  6. Mayweather has never been defeated in his 17-year long professional boxing career and is considered the best in the world. His last fight was on May 5th, 2012, a month before serving his jail sentence for domestic abuse.
  7. Mayweather is the highest paid athlete in the world, has appeared on Dancing with the Stars, has been featured on HBO’s reality series 24/7, and is the subject of two documentaries: 30 Days in May and Mayweather.

Showtime will be airing the pay-per-view event this Saturday, May 4 at 9PM ET / 6PM PT and movie theaters nationwide are hosting special events. You can also find official May Day t-shirts and other gear at the Showtime Store.

Mayweather vs. Guerrero - May Day

  1. The Mayweather vs. Guerrero fight hoodie ($54.95) can be found only at the official Showtime store. 
  2. The Mexican-American Robert Guerrero shirt from Robert Guerrero’s fan site demonstrates Guerrero’s pride in his heritage. ($24.99) 
  3. “Money” Mayweather fans can wear the Money Power Respect limited edition snapback hat ($100.00) that he wore on episode 4 of All Access.

After the Duck Dynasty finale: Treat your Robertson withdrawals

With the Duck Dynasty Season 3 finale airing last night, many an Uncle Si fan will surely be suffering from Duck Dynasty/Robertsons withdrawals. Seeing the Robertsons outside of their Louisiana environment is as off-putting as a week without our dose of Duck Dynasty. You may have heard from a little bird (a duck or possibly The Hollywood Reporter) that the fourth season of Duck Dynasty isn’t certain until contracts are renegotiated. But, before you start to fret about the questionable future of the Robertsons, check out our selection and get yourself ready for next duck or Duck Dynasty season.

To celebrate last night’s finale and help you get through your bout of Duck Dynasty withdrawals, we’ve found the best ways to keep up with the Robertsons in the off-season:

  • Watch Duck Dynasty reruns on the A&E website to reminiscence about the past season. It’s okay to relapse when it comes to the Robertsons!
  • Follow the official Duck Dynasty Twitter profile for the latest updates on the show: @DuckDynastyAE
  • How fun did those segways look? Get “futuristic” and give it a try for yourself on a segway tour in your area. A good resource is Segway Tours Worldwide, which allows you to search for tour companies in your city. Playing chicken is not recommended.
  • Learn to Duck Hunt… on your phone. Try Duck Hunter for Android or Mario Duck Hunt for iPhone.
  • Of course, nothing cures the Duck Dynasty off-season blues than meaningful fan gear!

 

Duck Dynasty Finale Merchandise

Cure Duck Dynasty withdrawals with must-have fan gear

  1.  Honor your second family with a Duck Dynasty Robertson shirt (retail $24.95) and a set of Robertson family bobbleheads (retail $99.80).
  2. Uncle Si: The Roberton’s most animated family member. Hold on to your own lucky cup modeled after Si’s teacup ($9.95), don an instant-classic Uncle Si “Hey” shirt (retail $24.95), and let Si keep you company with the Si cardboard cutout (retail $39.95).
  3. Everyone ♥’s the Robertsons, but do you [duck] the Robertsons? Prove it with the I Duck Group Silhouette t-shirt (retail $26.95).

BONUS! Shop the Shows is offering 20% off Duck Dynasty merchandise with coupon code DUCK20 when you choose 3 items. What are you waiting for?

Celebrate Earth Day with paperless coupons!

In celebration of our 43rd Earth Day, which will be celebrated today by an impressive 192 countries around the world according to The Earth Day Network, why not go green by shopping online? Save on the gas you would have used to drive to the store and paper coupons with these digital coupons redeemable at some of our favorite TV network stores.

Today Only, Earth Day Specials:

More April Coupons:

Happy Earth Day and Happy Shopping!

Dexter by Ty Mattson: Designs to die for

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If Dexter were to choose designs to perfectly capture his unique code, love of precision, and need for order while performing acts that are, by nature, chaotic, he would choose these unforgettable designs. This collection of Dexter designs were created specially for Showtime by Ty Mattson, the skilled designer behind Mattson Creative. Ty is able to illustrate each season’s biggest plot points from a palette of only black, white, red, and pink. These designs instantly catch the eye and enthrall true fans, perfectly combining classic and modern design for creations that are eerie yet irresistible.

Explore the exclusive collection at Showtime’s Store.

TyMattsonDexter

We’ve vetted the whole collection and have selected the pieces you can’t live, or die, without.

1. Dexter Seasons 1-7 Silk-Screen Print Set ($299.99 on store.sho.com) Create your own kill room with the full collection of limited edition screen prints. The set includes detailed posters from seasons 1-7 of Dexter.

2. Dexter Silhouette Phone Case ($19.95 on store.sho.com) Calling all killers, this unique case is sure to make you stand out as a true fan whether you have an iPhone 4, iPhone 5, or Galaxy S3.

3. Dexter Syringe T-Shirt ($24.95 on store.sho.com) Inject some killer style into your wardrobe with this menacing black tee.

4. Dexter Blood Slide Mug ($16.95 on store.sho.com) Slide out of bed and get ready to murder the morning with this unique mug.

What memorable Dexter moment would you kill to see designed by Ty Mattson?

Do yourself like Sterling Archer

Seriously?! I hope you’re looking at this from an untraceable IP address, otherwise you’re probably going to be on more than a few watch lists. It’s okay, you’re only endangering yourself. We get it, it’s easy to get sloppy when you’re emotionally compromised from weeping over the finale of Archer. Pull yourself together; we’ve assembled a mission to help you survive Archer’s off-season.

ArcherFinale

1. Since we’re not legally allowed to put most of our suggestions online, you’ve got to pick up Archer’s personal guide, How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written ($11.98 on Amazon.com). The guide covers important topics that include weaponry, valets, personal finance, and maybe even cobras. Yes, all things Sterling Archer is an expert on.

2. Follow Archer’s lead and realize the turtleneck’s potential as a tactical garment. You can’t execute missions with limited mobility or a cold neck. The J.Crew Cashmere Turtleneck Sweater ($149.99 on jcrew.com) has the look and feel that Archer would absolutely go for.

3. You can’t get involved with heavy artillery or a strong drink when your perfectly thin tie is flopping around like a Russian in Mallory. Get your tie in order with the Silver Engraved Tie Slide ($59.99 on store.hbo.com) from the HBO Boardwalk Empire store. The sleek classic design is perfect for espionage and attracting ladies.

4. Your ability to entrance women directly correlates to your ability to make a great drink. Up the level of your cocktail game just in time for summer with the Master Chef NCBL600 Bar Blender ($99.95 on Shoptheshows.com). When you get really good you’ll be able to identify bar blenders purely by sound, just like Archer.

5. A serious spy like Sterling Archer rarely does anything…. On his own. Without Woodhouse where would he be? Get your own butler(ish) from Task Rabbit. A task Rabbit may not have raised you, but when you hire a Task Rabbit for tasks or errands you can be certain they’ll be able to follow directions better than the sad sack of skin named Woodhouse.

6. Archer’s adventures wouldn’t be nearly as interesting or ridiculous without the help of his crazed ex-girlfriend. Get your own on OkCupid or just get the Lana Wall Decal ($21.95 on shop.fxnetworks.com), our recommendation, as it’s less work. Complete with attitude and man hands, this decal is the perfect addition to your décor. Now all you need is Kenny Loggins singing “Danger Zone”.

7. None of this will be worth anything if you can’t defend it. Get your fists up and fight like Archer would fight if he weren’t too hung over. Find Krav Maga instructors and classes near you and learn the martial art used by the Israeli army and all ISIS agents.

Psych: Keeping the Bromance Alive

As Psych reaches its 100th episode it really makes you think: what goes into a friendship to make it as lasting as Shawn and Gus’s? Their “Psychic” bond and serious bromance help make Psych special and definitely make us all green with envy. We broke down the Shawn/Gus dynamic and have sorted out the best ways channel these two and keep your friendship going strong.

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1. Secrets-
We’ve all heard “Secrets don’t make friends”, but they do when they’re purely between you two. Nothing keeps people thick as thieves like actually being thieves. We’re not suggesting you assemble your own pseudo-Pcychic agency, become a thief, or even commit any crimes, but sharing a secret gives you something that’s just yours. So whether it’s a crazy night or a shared guilty pleasure, find something that’s just yours.
Psych Clizby T-Shirt ($26.99 on nbcuniversalstore.com)- Clizby may just have a secret.

2. Snacks-
There’s rarely an episode lacking some serious snacking. The falsely-paranormal pair get their kicks snacking like crazy, arguing over dead people’s meals, and daydreaming about the next flavor combination they’ll get to experience. Food is just one of those things, it’s crucial for survival and finding a dish you and your best friend can go crazy over brings on some hearty bonding.
Try the Fancy Foodbox Subscription ($39 at theFancy.com) for a chance to try all different gourmet snacks.

3. History-
Shawn and Gus have the advantage of growing up together, but you can make your own history. Missed out on dorky childhood photos? Get a portrait package with your best friend and embrace the true dorkiness of your friendship.
JCP Portraits (Options starting at $4 on jcpportraits.com)

4. Inside jokes-
Okay, similar to your secret, but in a more public way. Gus and Shawn have their fair share of inside jokes, some so subtle you almost don’t notice them. Pineapple anyone?
Psych Pineapple Slippers ($24 on nbcuniversalstore.com) These plush slippers take the pines out of pineapple.

5. Nicknames-
Where would we be without Ovaltine Jenkins or Lemongrass Gogulope? Shawn never runs out of nicknames for Burton Guster and, while it started as a point of annoyance for Gus, it’s turned into a lot of fun for us. Up your nickname game, though we recommend only one, and you’ve got something unique to call your bestie.
Burton Guster Nickname T-Shirt ($26 on nbcuniversalstore.com)

6. Play games-
Even if your best friend accidentally blows up your car or drives you crazy, you know they’re always going to have your back in every situation. Take a break and play a game, you can work together to solve an age old mystery.
Clue Board Game ($19.99 on Target.com)

What are some tips on friendship Shawn and Gus could take from you?

It’s Your Turn To Be The Biggest Loser

On January 1st, many of us made the New Year’s resolution to get fit through exercise and healthy eating. Fast forward three months and not all of us can say we’ve held true to our goals. Lucky for us, another season of The Biggest Loser wrapped up this week with Danni Allen taking The Biggest Loser crown, giving us new inspiration to get back on track.

Leverage your newfound motivation with some of these tools for success!

Fitness Products Inspired By The Biggest Loser

 

  1. 30-Day Power X-Train DVD (reg $14.98) – Featuring The Biggest Loser trainers, Bob Harper and Dolvett Quince, this intense workout uses cross-training and core exercises to burn maximum calories.
  2. The Pilates Body: The Ultimate At-Home Guide to Strengthening, Lengthening, and Toning Your Body (reg $18.95) – I am a huge supporter of pilates and this book. Get step by step instructions and illustrations on how to perform each exercise. It is a low-impact routine that promotes better posture and creates core strength.
  3. BodyMedia® CORE Armband & Display Device (reg $168.99) – Track activity and calories burned with this fitness armband that’s just like the ones used by the Biggest Loser contestants. It also tracks the amount of time it takes to fall asleep and when you log your food intake into the corresponding online tool, it provides a breakdown of fat, protein, carbs and more.
  4. The Biggest Loser Quick & Easy Cookbook (reg $14.80) – This is the same cookbook seen on the show! Use this as a guide for creating healthy and tasty meals in 20 minutes or less – no more excuses for lack of time!

Additionally, one of my favorite online resources for tracking progress, fitness, and diet ideas is Self Magazine’s online program, Drop 10 Challenge (a.k.a. the Self Challenge), where participants can track progress through food and fitness logs, get custom workouts, and a find seemingly unlimited amount of meal ideas.

I hope you make use of some of these tools – there’s still time to fulfill your New Year’s resolution! Use Danni as your inspiration!

BONUS: When you shop the Biggest Loser Store today and tomorrow, promo code FINALE20 gets you 20% off.